Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
