Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
