Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
We are all done wearing pants today
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
