the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
