just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
