as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
NoShamevember. You game?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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