"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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