Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
