I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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