going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Terrible idea I love it
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
