No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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