Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
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