C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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