Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
