Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
