I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
