clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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