were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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