Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
