how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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