Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
