Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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