This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
