last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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