You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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