Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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