but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
not ubering you a puppy
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
