was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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