The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
