Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
