I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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