just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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