Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
