We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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