Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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