I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
He shit in the fireplace
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
