he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
