he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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