Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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