Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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