I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
