There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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