she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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