Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
