i permit you to call me
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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