i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
