Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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