Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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