R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
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