party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
