Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
