It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
