And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
