the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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