You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
