wakey wakey hands off snakey
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
