new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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