your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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