69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
My bed is full of blood and feathers
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize
