I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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