How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
