I wanna bring you to show and tell
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize