The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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