i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
